Serious topic warning: Protecting kids from digital sexual assault.

Trigger Warning: This article discusses sexual assault and may be triggering for people who have experienced any type of violation. Please practice self care, and skip it or stop reading if you feel uncomfortable.

Let’s talk numbers. According to a 2022 IFL Science article citing several studies, 76-percent of adolescent girls had been sent a picture of male genitalia. Aka, a “dick pic.” Studies involving adolescent boys are less prevalent, but it’s important not to ignore the impact it can have on them as well.

Adolescent.

Really think about that.

These are literal children who have no means to consent, and many have become so accustomed to this sort of behavior that they don’t always report it. It becomes “par for the course,” so to speak.

Unfortunately, this isn’t always recognized for exactly what it is - actual sexual assault.

We’ve become “uncomfortably” numb to these behaviors.

Normalizing this type of event at such a young age has contributed to an ongoing epidemic living in a digital gray area. And we need to start being very vocal in an effort to educate and protect.

While sending ANY inappropriate images to underage children is a criminal offense, it’s often difficult to pin down the actual perpetrator. According to the Department of Justice:

“Federal law strictly prohibits the distribution of obscene matter to minors. Any transfer or attempt to transfer such material to a minor under the age of 16, including over the Internet, is punishable under federal law.”

However, there are few reliable statistics on how many of these instances ever really make it to court because they are grossly underreported, with minors often hiding the images, erasing them, or simply never feeling safe enough to bring them to adults. This is entirely due to the failing of a system that has undereducated youth and under-prosecuted offenders.

And we also can’t gloss over the portion highlighting, “under the age of 16.” This points to a larger failing on the part of the federal government in a huge way. Anyone under 18 is still a minor in the eyes of the law, and deserves equal protection.

In short, adults (and the government) are letting kids down - and we need to understand just how much of a problem this is.

What can we do to stop this and start protecting kids online?

First and foremost, CALL OUT THE PROBLEM. These are not “boys being boys.” These are adult men (when discussing “dick pics” specifically) committing acts of sexual assault while hiding behind a digital smokescreen.

Flashing a child in public is a one way ticket to prison (we hope). So why is doing it online any different? Predators have just found a new way to hide because at their very core, they’re cowards.

There are several steps we can take to start protecting our kids:

• TALK TO YOUR KIDS! Explain to them that sexual assault is sexual assault - no matter where it occurs. Let them know that this is not their fault, and that they should always feel safe bringing the issue to the adults in their lives. These creeps aren’t going to go away, so let’s bring a new level of awareness to what they’re doing.

  
  

• Hold off on introducing your kids to social media. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and even Pinterest have all been used as ways to make unwanted contact with children. In fact, there are new apps and chat features being created all the time that have become predator pipelines. Even children’s versions of some of these apps have been exploited (Kid’s Messenger, etc.). Until children truly understand the dangers of these apps and have a basic understanding of how to protect themselves, wait to give them access. While we know that this puts the onus on the parents and not the predators, we can only control our side of this until authorities get better at catching these nasty f****.

  
  

• Teach kids that if they see something, say something. We know that stats. If your child has already been online, there’s a chance they’ve already been sent something that they shouldn’t have. This is NOT their fault. Talk to them about it openly and without shame. Give them the safe space they need. And if they do express discomfort over a past incident, get them some sort of help. They deserve all the support they can get.

  
  

• Talk to your local representatives and emphasize the need for better digital protections. Don’t let up and use your outrage to fuel the fight. All too often things like this get swept under the rug because they CAN take time and resources to investigate and prosecute. Let’s work together to bring those statistics down and to create a safer space for every child.

Part of what we emphasize at Havven is inclusivity and SAFETY for everyone. We’re on a mission to both create a soft place to land for every member of our community, but also to educate ANYONE and EVERYONE on the tough topics.

For some additional resources, check out:

https://www.childhelphotline.org/

https://rainn.org/help-and-healing/hotline/